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A Gigley Ironman Story:
The day before Ironman Cozumel as I stood on the dock and looked out over the ocean I was struck by the realization of what I was about to do the next day. Never has something looked so daunting, or impossible to me as that beautiful ocean lined with buoys further out then what I could even see. A thought grabbed me and whispered to me for the rest of the day… How in the world was I really going to do this thing that I had trained for a year to do? It looked too far, sounded too long, even felt a little crazier than I had anticipated.
What in the world was I doing this for anyway? I started this journey to Ironman for many different reasons… One was to show my kids to set their sights on something and finish it, that they could do more than they ever thought possible, they were stronger than they thought, they could learn to do new things, they would struggle, would not be the fastest or the strongest or the best, but they could give something their all and not quit. That they could be disciplined if they decided to, that if they committed to something they needed to follow through — even when obstacles came up, to look at them, deal with them but keep on going.
The second reason was that it was a lot of fun! I love the challenge of triathlons, I love that you never really know what the race will hold for you, what the weather will be, how you will actually do… I love my tri friends, spending time with them in training, learning and laughing with them…my life is better with them in it and I look forward to races with all of them who are just as excited as me about getting to Do This!
The third reason was about conquering fear. Looking it square in the face in my life and saying, “you don’t control me!” Fear of failure, fear of what could happen, fear of looking like an idiot, fear of not finishing, fear of the unknown, fear of not being strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, fear of pain, fear of what people think, fear of water – the darkness, the deepness, fear of drowning, fear of falling, fear, fear, fear. It’s what causes us to not live to our fullest, it kills relationships, makes us put cocoons of protection around us so we don’t speak up, we don’t ask for help, we don’t want to step on toes, for some people it consumes them …. The “What Could Happen” makes them not even try.
The words, “I can’t” equal fear. I wanted the words, “I Can” to ring loudly in my head and in my children’s minds. I never realized until I started this sport how much fear was in me…. I really had no idea! After a year of training, conquering that fear a little at a time, through one obstacle after another, through bike wrecks, hanging onto kayaks, honked at by cars on busy streets, open water swims getting kicked in the face, pushed down and swam on top of, chains falling off, knee surgery, and all the rest…. There I stood on that dock and felt that fear trying to wrap itself Around me with the words….”You can’t, it’s too far, you could drown, you are not ready, you are crazy to even try this, you haven’t swam far enough or rode long enough, your knee won’t hold up, DO YOU SEE HOW FREAKIN FAR THIS OCEAN SWIM IS??? There is no way… You can’t.”
I spent the rest of that day in a haze of irritation, packed and repacked my special needs bags 12 times, had everything laid out, went over and over the race course in my mind, trying to calm myself down about that swim and trying to remember how far I had come in a year. My husband and kiddos tried to cheer me up, my sweet hubby kept telling me that I was going to do great, and all I could think about was…”Had I done enough…. Really?” I went for a massage around 4 that afternoon to a little place with a sweet Mexican lady who proceeded to give me the most amazing massage of my life! As she was massaging me I heard her muttering under her breathe the whole time…then the words Jesu Christo… And I realized she was praying for me! When she was done she took my hands and in broken English she told me that I was going to do amazing in the race even better than I thought and that Jesu Christo was with me.
Amazingly, the weight I Had felt all day had lifted and even my family noticed when I got back – suddenly my thoughts were turning to the fact that I had done everything I could do to get here, I had put in the hours… I was as ready as I could be, and it was time to enjoy it!
I went to bed at 9 that night, woke up at 10:45 and thought it was time to get up…. And then could not fall back to sleep till after 1 in the morning from excitement and nerves. Finally the alarm clock went off and I grabbed everything including my special needs bags meticulously packed and ready for drop off. I and my team mates got in the taxi to the race… No one was saying much and for the life of me I could not eat! That was worrisome, because I knew my body needed fuel before the swim.
We got to the bag drop off and I looked down … No Run Special Needs bag was anywhere in sight… I had left it on the taxi. My heart dropped and then I freaked for a few seconds and then Iron Dave said to me what I had been saying all week– “Expect Difficulties and Distractions, they are gonna happen…. Then laugh at them and keep on going.” My friend Todd started chuckling and I realized I couldn’t spend another second thinking about it- so I let it go- there wasn’t a thing I could do about it anyway! That was pretty huge for me… I have tended to get all bent out of shape when things don’t go as planned- I’m a planner, I see pitfalls before they happen and plan for them in advance- I manage a billion things at once and rarely does something fall through the cracks because of my careful planning, and yet here I was standing without my run special needs bags- no extra Gus, no band aids in case I got a blister, no Vaseline for chafing, no hand towel, no security blanket for midway on the run when I thought I would need it most– and I had let it go.
Finally it was time! I still couldn’t eat… I managed to get down half a banana and three stinger chews before getting my speed suit on. My nerves were getting the better of me and butterflies were not flying in formation in my belly- I felt like throwing up, but couldn’t do that either. I stood in the midst of 2300 people, the Mexican anthem began to play and I realized at that moment that I had to go to the bathroom! Unfortunately they had not quite planned for us and there were only a total of 14 porta potties to use for all of us- they ran out of toilet paper so they were handing out squares in the line- guys started leaving to pee in the bushes while we stood in what looked like the longest line ever! Someone announced over the loud speaker that it was time to jump in the water- I had missed the dolphins jumping, I missed the pros starting the race—but finally I got to use one of those 14 porta potties!
I came flying out of that horrible porta potty, looking frantically around for anyone that I knew, and saw no one- and realized, this was it. I was on my own… This was my race now – not anybody else’s and I could do this! The lady on the loud speaker announced that it was 4 minutes to start and that we should all be in the water– so I took a deep breathe, checked my goggles, tugged on my swim cap, asked God to put his angels around me in that ocean and jumped off the dock. It was time.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but in my mind there was supposed to be cannons that would go off to announce the start, but all I heard was a faint fog horn… I looked around and realized everyone had started swimming and so I started flailing my arms around furiously for a few seconds before I could get in control of the excitement to start swimming properly. I kept waiting to be pummeled to death by the male swimmers around me, caught some sharp jabs from a few people, dodged some elbows and managed to get myself into position with a few people that swam at my pace. The water was crystal clear and blue, the fish were swimming all around and this peace enveloped me as I got into the rhythm of swimming for what could be a two hour timeframe.
I rounded the first buoy, then the second, then the third, and stayed calm until we rounded the turn buoy. Everyone was on top of everyone at the turn, but I was ready for it- I veered out a bit to avoid the throng of people crowding each other out and said a silent prayer to not have my goggles kicked off my face and kept on going. I was still trying to find my place and get into a comfortable pace when two guys came around me- one in gray on my right and a guy in black on my left. It was beautiful! It was a gift to be in between these two swimmers- we swam like we had trained to swim together in this race- our strokes were perfectly synced and all I could think was that I wanted to stay in between them for as long as I could keep up. I counted the grey suit guys strokes and he was sighting on every third stroke just slightly ahead of me– so I put my head down and swam the swim of my life.
We were flying through the water- it was magical and I managed to stay with them most of the way back until we hit the second turn buoy and I just could not keep the pace up anymore. My angels flew past me, I looked up and realized how far I had gone– it was an exhilarating feeling- I was doing this, I felt amazing, it wasn’t hard, I wasn’t tired and I was over halfway through!
The next turn was more difficult – the sun was glaring in my eyes and I am not a bilateral breather- I couldn’t just switch sides to breathe the other direction, and with the sun in my eyes, it literally blinded me- next thing I knew I was by myself- which only meant one thing- I was off course. I stopped swimming and bobbed in the water for a moment to get my bearings and couldn’t see ahead of me, so I started to just swim towards the swimmers off to my left. Around this time, the current was strong, I was suddenly very nauseated and the rolls in the waves only made that feeling stronger- people were throwing up in the water around me– I wasn’t the only one who was sea sick! I was ready to be done! I put my head down and swam as fast as I could to get out- and then there it was- the end! The steps to dry land!
I had finished the swim- the thing that had terrified me for over a year, my biggest fear was that water and I had conquered it and actually enjoyed it…not only that, but It wasn’t half as hard as I thought it was going to be!
As I got out I heard my name, and there was my Aaron- whooping and hollering for me, all I could yell was — “what was my time?” I was expecting him to say 1:40 or 1:45– he looked down and said “1:20! You smoked it!! … no stinking way!! That made me run like the wind- my babies were further down the dock yelling and whooping and I grabbed their hands as I passed by, exhilarated at what I had just done and ready to get on my bike… I was having the time of my life!
Sheer joy was with me as I got ready in transition- my nutrition plan was ready and I would follow it to a t. I got on my bike and felt the Joy of just being there… I Get To Do This!
I had all the advice that all of my triathlete and ironman friends had given me over the last year rumbling inside my head and I used every piece of information that I could on the longest bike ride of my life. I took two salt pills every hour, ate 300 calories every hour, drank a bottle of water before the next water station about every 20 miles, poured water in my shoes when my feet got hot, I kept my cadence high, I got in and out of aero position to give my back a break, I kept the first loop slow… Too slow in fact, and when I rounded the curve on the ocean side into the wind it literally took my breathe away!
It was so beautiful that there are no words to describe… The sun was shining, the waves were crashing on the rocks and the water was so blue that if you looked hard enough you could see the fish in the waves- and it stretched out as far as your eye could see for miles- unbelievable! I was once again overwhelmed by the gift of what I was getting to do- the gift of a healthy body, the gift of Gods earth and the beauty around me out here for me to enjoy to the fullest, the gift of having my family there to support my dream.
It was surreal- all the effort involved, all the obstacles I had faced in training, all the fear I had conquered and today was the day and it was FUN! I got to see my family at every loop and it was what got me through every mile – knowing they would be there to cheer me on kept me going! I spent that first loop in awe of my surroundings, and then I realized that I had taken it just a little too slow, so I started getting back into race mode- I kicked in to high gear for the second loop- now that I knew the course, I was ready to get it done.
The second loop I looked up and noticed a shift in the wind– off in the distance I saw dark clouds looming and I started getting an inkling that it was headed our direction. That thought just lit a fire under me because I had never ridden in the rain- not one time, and I sure didn’t want the first time to be while doing an ironman! The wind started whipping around and I was so thankful that I had ridden in Texas winds for miles and miles preparing for Cozumel’s backside of the island- it was no joke! With the storm brewing it just made the winds crazier and the ocean crash even harder next to us the entire time– that second loop the beauty that had taken my breathe away started losing its luster.
All the water I had consumed was suddenly hitting my bladder so I had a choice- pee on the bike or get off at a water station– I decided to pee on the bike like a true Ironman, and I managed to do that three times total in order to save time and not stop.
All I could think about was that I wanted off the bike before the storm hit! I started getting a little fatigued around 60 miles, the wind had ripped several of my opponents number belts off and I heard a sound of flapping behind me- sure enough, my number belt was barely hanging on, so I pulled off for the first time to the side of the road to fix it.
The second loop I couldn’t wait to see my family- they were whooping and hollering for me and that gave me another energy boost just by being there when I needed them.
Then I got back to pedaling- the third loop I was still in awe that I was enjoying myself so much- it was the perfect ride for me- my pain was not unbearable and I was still really enjoying myself! The sky above started getting darker and darker and by the time I made it on the backside of the island I knew I was not going to make it– I started pedaling for all I was worth, hunched down in aero position, and the beauty had finally grown dim to me– all I could think was when was the ever loving Oceanside going to be over?
Around mile 90 I started hurting and getting uncomfortable, so I started talking to myself. My watch had quit working right out of the water, so I had no idea what time it was- I had my cat eye for pace and was hoping I hadn’t been on the bike for too long- my goal was to try to be as close to six hours and thirty minutes and I had been on for over 6 hours. At mile 100 I whooped out loud – so excited to only have 12 more miles to go! I was giving it all I had at this point- I didn’t stop to get my bike special needs bag, I just wanted to finish- I looked up ahead and there were the dark clouds looming.
At 106 miles in, the clouds broke loose and the rains came down like I have never seen- I was yelling out loud to my angels to come around me to protect me so I wouldn’t fall- I yelled at God, “Really, you couldn’t have held that off for 6 more miles?” I was doing math calculations like a crazy person out loud to see how much further I had and if I would hit my 6:30 goal time… and knew I had to let that go because there was no way I was going to make it now.
That rain came down so hard and so fast that it was up to my hubs on my tires in minutes, it hurt my skin pelting into me, I couldn’t see out of my glasses, I had water dripping off my helmet and running in rivers down my face- a couple of guys had wiped out and an ambulance was on his way to one guy laying in the water having taken the curve too fast. I just wanted it done. Finally, after what felt like hours, it was over– there was the transition mat– I was never so glad to walk in my life! I had done it! Swam 2.4 miles in 1:20 , biked 112 miles in 6:48 min…. Now for the run.
In transition after the bike, I was so excited to have a towel. It was the best part- getting dry and out of the clothes soaked in pee and rain and uck from the ground. I went as fast as I can, checked my Gu’s knowing I did not have my special need bag to look forward to and started off. I rounded the curve and my brother saw me- pure glee! He yelled that Coach Dave was just up ahead and so I picked up the pace to see if I could catch him- I was amazed that my legs did not hurt too bad and that I had any energy at all, but I did! I tried to hold back on the run, keep my heart rate down– but, my heart rate monitor had not worked since the swim either so I just guessed where it was at.
Sure enough up ahead was Iron Dave- he had taught me how to swim, spent countless hours telling me I Could when I felt like I couldn’t, made me laugh instead of cry when I felt like a fool all the times my bike chain would fall off, walked into Home Depot in full bike gear with me, clomping down the isles to find a wrench to fix my pedals, drying my tears with his humor. I’d gripe about how cold the water was in swim practice, and he would remind me that … I Get to Do this. He trained me with patience and humor, he yelled at me to get off the walls in swim, he figured out who I was pretty quickly- a people pleaser who wanted everyone happy, he encouraged me and held me back, slowed me down and motivated me to keep going. The last 8 weeks of my training he was injured at a race- two bike wrecks left him in a hospital with cuts, bruises, stitches and broken ribs in Wales– because of what he was going through I brought on a second coach named Eduardo Guerra to help get me to the end. Eduardo also yelled at me, motivated me, kept me safe on long bike rides, was with me on my first 100 mile bike ride, sacrificed time with his family to be with me and my Tri mate Rebecca, got me going when I did not want to do anymore and got so far in my head that it was His voice I heard on those last 30 miles on the bike – ” c’mon girl! C’mon,c’mon c’mon! I love them both for all that they taught me, for all that I learned about myself and the sport, and for their love for the sport which makes them both amazing coaches!
So, I came up on Dave, slapped him on the rear, told him I loved him, and I started running through all the puddles and the remainder of the rain coming down, feeling amazed that I felt so good! I remember thinking that it was so much easier than I thought it would be… I had energy, I felt ready for this marathon and all I had left was less than 26.2 miles to go till I reached the finish line. I could Do this!
The first 2 miles were great, I paced myself, ate when I was supposed to, tried to avoid the rain and puddles it caused as much as possible, did everything according to plan until we came to a screeching halt at what looked to me like a river in the road. I watched other runners stop, and looked ahead to the ones on the other side…. and to the runners in the middle of the river with water almost to their knees and realized that there was no way around it, we just had to wade through it to get to the other side.
Now, if you don’t know much about running, let me just clue you in to one important thing – As a runner, the most important thing you can do to avoid blisters, pain in the feet, too much movement etc., is to Keep Your Feet DRY. Sock makers make socks out of fabric for runners that keep sweat off our feet for this reason! I am particularly prone to blisters and feet issues of all kinds, and am known in my group for having Princess and the Pea feet – Connie at CK Sports and I have become great friends from me visiting her store trying out various shoes and devices to help my feet because of all the issues! So, you can imagine my utter disbelief to realize, that 2 miles in on the Marathon of my life at my first Ironman…. My feet would be completely and utterly drenched… and would most likely remain that way for the entire race.
I managed to get through the river, soaking feet and all, and had but one small glimmer of hope- the rain had stopped, and surely this river would be drained or gone by the time I reached it again in 4 more miles. People around me were taking off their shoes, squeezing out their socks and putting them back on again in hopes of saving their feet from disaster… I just kept on running, thinking how smart I was to have left a dry pair of socks with my husband… I would just change socks when I saw him in 6 more miles.
Meanwhile, my watch was still not working, no heart rate, just the minutes I had run so far. I started getting fatigued after the 5th mile and started drinking Pepsi at each water station along with pretzels — It was the best Pepsi and pretzels I have ever had in my life! I finally made it to mile 6… Where the river was still flowing…. I trudged through it again in disbelief that it was still there, and still hopeful that it would drain off by the next time I saw it.
By this time the blisters had started forming under my toes and around various places on my feet. I tried to block out the reality that this was about to get pretty miserable, and I just kept running- determined not to stop running except through water stations. I made it back into the city- looking for my family as I was nearing the 9 mile mark– and there they were! It was just the pick me up I needed to get geared up for another loop.
By this time it was dark, I approached Blister River ( as I had named it) for the third time, I yelled quite loudly, “I HATE BLISTERS!” as I passed it and started a long line of blister hater screamers like myself. We were all joined by the fact that we were all miserably happy doing what we were doing. We were going to be Ironmen… Pain was a part of it, suffering was guaranteed, we would finish- blisters, rain, river and all!
My second loop was where I started losing my sanity…. I did math in my head to pass the time- which is ironic, because I absolutely despise math in all forms, I started counting random objects and as each mile plodded by, I began to think I was crazy to have attempted this. What had I been thinking? I would most definitely NEVER EVER do this again! My feet hurt, there was a good chance I was bleeding, and I had the overwhelming urge to just get the whole nonsense over with– it was the most misery I felt all day from mile 10 to mile 16. Suddenly I heard my name being called in a Spanish accent – I looked up and lo and behold…out of a sea of people, there stood the lady that had given me my massage. She waved frantically, I heard the words Jesu Christo again and she was jumping up and down with excitement at having found me. She was my angel in that moment… I teared up, felt a little hug from heaven and knew right then that I was going to be miserable, but I would finish.
Along with the misery was the fact that Blister River was there to stay…. Which, according to my mathematical equation in my head meant that I was going to have to cross it a total of 6 times before it was over. Just as my feet would start to dry out, there it was again. I was known as “Blisters” by the crowd- they would cheer for me as I passed by saying, Here comes Blisters! You can do it Blisters!! … In truth, I don’t know how I kept going. The mind is a crazy thing- you can make yourself tune out pain when you are pushed to the point of doing it. Everything hurt… I had been in this race for over 11 hours… My whole body was yelling at me- but I started going faster…
Around this time, I realized I had to pee…. And, unlike some of my tri friends, I had not mastered the art of peeing while running! I had worried about getting dehydrated, and I ended up doing the exact opposite- over hydrating! The only facility was the porta potties along the road side. I opened up the first one– it was covered in vomit and feces— but the pee was a comin! I foolishly thought I could hold myself up over the mess of a toilet seat, but my legs were so tired they gave out from under me– as I sat there I remember thinking—“good cow, never in a million years would I have ever thought I would use a porta potty like this, much less sit on the seat covered in vomit and other peoples poo!!!” My next thought was, “great, no toilet paper!!” I ended up having to use the stinkin porta potty 3 times on my run during the last loop — unSTinkingbelievable!
This strange sound started coming out of me for the last 6 miles. At first I thought in my delirium that I was just breathing hard… My lungs were hurting and for some reason making the sound seemed to make me feel better. It kind of resembled the sound of a pig with a head cold breathing in. I made this grunt like sound with every step I took– I looked at my watch and realized I was still in the 4 hour mark for this marathon. It became my new goal- finish the marathon before it hit 5 hours. I had never ran a marathon in 5 hours and I was NOT going to start now!
My third loop, even with all the potty breaks turned out to be my fastest– I did a negative split on a marathon for the first time in my life- its hard to describe the last few miles…. Looking down at my watch seeing 4:40 looming , trying to calculate if I had time, but my mind was not working well enough to figure it out, the pain of my blistered feet, the desire to be finished, the surge of strength that enveloped me as my desire for the goal time to be met became my soul purpose in this life. Every second mattered.
People turned around to look at me wondering what the hideous sound behind them was– mentally, I tried to be quiet- but I couldn’t make the sound stop- I got faster and faster – and tears started streaming down my face as I started nearing the finish line- my hands shot up into the air with a mind of their own- I ran with my hands in the air and the feeling of exhilaration for about a quarter of a mile- I had done it! I had finished what I started. I was stronger than I thought. I had conquered my fear. I had beaten down my demons in my head. I had disciplined myself and followed through and I was a different person crossing that line. I finished that run in 4:58:50. I had 1 minute and 10 seconds under 5 hrs. … I was an Ironman. I swam 2.4 miles in 1:20:40, I biked 112 beautiful miles in 6:47:10, and I ran 26.2 wet miles in 4:58:50 for a finish time of 13:24:52. – faster than I ever thought I would be able to do it in.
In the 2 months since the Ironman I have not worked out at all… I ran 4 miles in Mexico when we visited the Orphanage over Christmas, then I fell down the stairs in part due to my knees bothering me from the Ironman. It has taken a while for my body to heal- I needed the last couple of months to heal, and to reflect on what I accomplished last year. I am a changed person. I did not know what my tri friends meant about not being the same person when I crossed the finish line. I am calmer on the inside…. Things don’t bother me the way they did and I have a perspective on pain that I did not have before. I, like my tri friends, plan on doing another one, even though I swore I would never do one… but, it will be in a few years. If I don’t ever do another one, and my life takes a different path, I will look back on this experience as one of the best ones of my life. It is up there with Getting Married, Having Babies, and watching my children grow.
I will have my grandkids around my knee one day, looking into my faded blue eyes, in a face full of wrinkles, with tears streaming down as I tell them….” You are stronger than you think you are, You can accomplish more than you ever thought possible, You are bigger than Fear, You are bigger than Pain, Your voice is louder than the voice of Fear in your mind, You Can be disciplined, You Can overcome obstacles and keep going, You don’t let obstacles stop you from reaching your dream, you figure out a way to reach your dream in spite of the obstacles that will most certainly come your way. You Can…. And You Get To Do This wonderful thing…. called Life… . 

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